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Dignified end I wanted for my mum dad

By Joanne pegna
Posted on


She had been married to my dad for 53 yrs and very much in love.

My mum was diagnosed with larynx cancer , she had already had breast cancer and that was fully cured. She had the larynx removed in 2006. It was a very very difficult time the years that followed lots of hospital appointments ,radiation , operation to stretch her throat and very scary for her living with the fear of the stoma getting blocked, which it did with mucus and she had a valve to help her speak, in 2009 she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer which we think had spread further .what I so wanted for her was to be comfortable pain free dignified end after what she had gone through with her cancer. The sad think on 2010 with all the stress my poor dad had a fatal stroke and died 2 weeks later, I ensured he was comfortable and not agitated, I had achieved that with the help of the wonderful doctors ,it was a very very sad time and as a family we tended to drift apart .

My mum was very poorly and I persuaded her to go into hopsice 2 weeks prior to my father funeral to stabilise her, she said it was sanctuary she felt safe not scared and very very calm, we knew then this was were she wanted to end her days as home wasn’t really an option with her medical condition. She had been married to my dad for 53 yrs and very much in love. He died May 21st 2010 and she died very peacefully in Rowcroft Hopsice on 26th July .when someone gets ill the grieving starts then really, all I can say is do the best you can as hard as it to come together and see what that person wants and needs are. I made all the decisions for my parents and I know now I made the right decision, but I always doubted what I was doing as my parents never once told me of their wishes , we never discussed end of life. I will ensure I tell my family of my wishes so that they can hopefully make them come true at the end of my life .

Miss you mum dad so much hope you in a lovely place now xx

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