We often had coffee table talks together about “what if” medical situations and always agreed that quality of life trumped quantity. Even though I stood by her and honored her wishes, the emotional part of me felt a sense of helplessness, as she slowly slipped away. I didn’t feel angry or resentful, because we were doing what we agreed upon. But I certainly wasn’t happy while it happened. I guess the advantages of talking before it happened helped to sort though any feelings of selfishness that would have come into play during medical emergencies causing undue stress and cost to everyone.
I have since found another lady to be with and I had a coffee table talk with her. She has been open to the topic as her father died a few months ago. I believe that when I die, it really isn’t about me but about the emotional wellbeing of those I leave behind. The end of life conversation helps them with that.